Farm livin' is the life for me

Thoughts and Prayers for my Uncle Mark today, who is battling cancer.
Mark has been a part of my memories since as long as I can remember.
When he was very young, his mother (my grandmother) passed away of cancer.
He came to live with us along with his brother.
They were wild and crazy and loved to tease and torment.
Life in our home wasn't always pleasant, but we all made the best of it.
Mark was the master at getting under my skin.
He is the one that nicknamed me "Mouth", because of the way I screamed and yelled at him whenever he messed with me.
Mark never had a lot of parental guidance in his life.

One would never guess by looking at him that he was so ornery :)
He was feisty and argumentative, especially when drinking.
No one wanted to be around him when he was drinking.
He is a little guy who would never give up in a fight, no matter how much he got his butt whooped. He would always come back for more.
One of my favorite memories are of him on the kitchen floor with my dad holding him down for an hour or two... every once in a while my dad would ask him..."give up yet?"
Mark would yell out some bad words and struggle again until he got tired...
My mom was standing over them with a chair in her hands, threatening to beat them with it if they didn't get out of her kitchen :)
Us kids would go walking through and step over them as if they weren't even there.
I also remember them knocking over our Christmas tree one year during one of their battles.
My dad was a big, strong guy, and wasn't one to be messed with.
It didn't matter, Mark was a fighter and proud of it.
Mark lived a pretty hard life.
I didn't see him much after we became adults.
After my dad passed away, Mark came to live with me for a couple of years.
During this time, he was pretty mellow and I was able to get to know him a little as an adult.
He took my father's death pretty hard because he was also like a father to Mark.
During this time, Mark would love to talk about old times.
He seemed happy reminiscing. He would get excited telling stories, reminding me of how mean he used to be to me :)
He really liked to tell stories about my dad.
I enjoyed talking to him and getting to know him a little during that time.
In the last few years, Mark has mellowed out a lot.
The years of wild living have taken their toll on him.
We found out he had cancer not to long ago.
He was given 10 weeks to live.
Today he took a turn for the worse and I am awaiting word.
Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers.

Love you Mark!

I have been asked these questions through an anonymous comment...

What would happen if something happened to Tim? Could you and the children continue to maintain this lifestyle?

I thought it would be worth a little effort to answer it, since it has kinda weighed on my own mind from time to time, even though Tim assures me.. he will outlive us all.. I can only hope that is true.. at least that he will outlive me.

Making this change so late in my life hasn't been the easiest thing for me to deal with.
I was living a somewhat stable existence.. at least for the last couple of years.
Before that I had a series of ups and downs in my life.. always unstable and rocky.
I have made tons of mistakes and was exhausted.
But the last couple of years I basically was doing nothing. Nothing to do, no one to talk to, no one to answer to.
That was ok for a while after my chaotic life, but I was lonely.
Stephen was living with his dad by this time, and I was in so much pain because our relationship had been rocky for a while, because of my idiocity.
I turned to internet dating services just to find people to talk to and bide my time until I... kicked the bucket, I guess.
I was waiting patiently for my time on this earth to be up.
What a sad existence that is.
I never expected to meet someone that I would fall in love with and marry someday :)
After several witty little emails back and forth we started talking on the phone.
I could tell that he wasn't in any place to be looking for a girlfriend, because he started talking about Wendy right off the bat. He missed her greatly, and still does. There relationship was one of the great ones, they are soul mates.
Him and I spent a lot of time talking about our sadness.
Talking to him felt so good.
We talked almost everyday, and when we didn't get to talk, I felt sad.
We spent 2 years talking to each other on the phone daily.
I felt as if he were my best friend, before we even met in person.
When Tim started telling me about his lifestyle I was pretty stunned by it all, but in awe over the passion I could hear in his voice when he would talk it.
I almost didn't believe some of the stuff he was telling me, because it is so out there.. I never even heard of such things :)
I actually thought he was joking when he told me he didn't have running water... I couldn't imagine someone living like that on purpose!!
I was very sceptical, and it made me very happy for my little luxuries in life.. like a toilet that flushes, and bright lights and the tv.
How could I ever give all that up :)
After talking for so long, it was time to finally meet in person.
I knew that he was a person that I wanted to know in real life. He had given me such great insight into my health and what the food I was eating was doing to me. Also he gave me great spiritual insight of myself and the world around me.
When he came up to Rockford I was scared out of my mind.
I don't even know why.
I guess I was scared that the connection we had on the phone wouldn't be there after we met in person. I really didn't want to screw that up because it felt so good.
But I knew that I had to meet him.
So he came up and spent a week with me.
We both knew that we were destined to meet, we came into each others lives for a reason.
I never had the preconceived notion that he was going to sweep me off of my feet and carry me off into the sunset, I was 40 years old, and that kind of fantasy, storybook romance crap faded away a long time ago, not only that, he couldn't have carried me anywhere.. I was way to heavy :)
During the week he was there, I decided to come back with him and check the backwoods out for a while.
It was complete culture shock when I pulled up in the driveway. It was Autumn and there was no green, everything looked dark and truly rustic backwoodsy in every way you could imagine.
I immediately wished I was back home in my sanitized, comfortable little world.
I decided to stick it out, actually I didn't have a choice but to stick it out, I didn't have a ride back home!
The worst times of the day that first month was bath time and morning time.
I know some people like taking a bath by candle light, but I was so afraid something was going to crawl on me, or get in my bathwater.... not only that, my bath water was pond water!
It took me quite a while to get used to the idea that I had to use pond water, not only for baths, but for dishes and cleaning as well.
I had a few days in those first weeks where I refused to get out of bed because I felt like I didn't belong here. I didn't have the energy to keep up with everyone, my knees ached when I was out in the woods stacking wood onto the truck. I wanted to cry every time I was out there.
I felt like a disappointment.
But eventually, after getting to know the kids, and learning the routine, and learned to stop being intimidated by everyone and everything, I started to feel like I belonged here.
I have to say, I have tried more new things since being here than I ever have in my life, and it feels great to accomplish things I never thought I could ever do. I was felt like I was actually adventurous and hard core :)
Tim was always encouraging and understanding.
So were the kids.
I decided to stay. My family wasn't to happy about it, but Stephen opinion was the only one I cared about. And he did have a problem with it at first. But him and I eventually worked through it all. I have always had a very close bond with Stephen, and now we are getting closer than ever.
Tim's family was a little more happy than my family was about the whole thing. They were very accepting of me coming into their family so quickly, and have always been very nice to me.
I have had a great time getting to know them.
I am glad some members of my family have taken the time to get to know Tim and the kids, although I wish others would as well.
After a year of living in the backwoods, I am proud to say that I am no longer a glorified city chick.
I am a hard core, backwoods, wood chopping, compost toilet using, pond water bath taking, long walk the woods taking, hands so dirty that I can't get them clean, calloused up, deer eating, tomato picking, herb consuming country girl and proud of it!
Have you ever felt like you wanted to be a part of something bigger than yourself?
Something challenging, physical, long lasting?
I never knew what I was missing in my life all those years, and now I know.
Tim and I have a wonderful relationship.
Although we have had our share of challenges, we are always able to work through them.
I have more respect for him than anyone.

Now back to the question..
What we do if something would happen to Tim, God forbid.
First of all, I couldn't imagine going back to the city life, ever.
I couldn't imagine ever leaving here, this is home to me.
And although I am still learning how to live this way, I am still challenged everyday with this lifestyle... I love it here.
I asked Rachel the question.
She said that she wouldn't want to get into the "system" and would prefer to maintain this life as well.
Tim and Wendy have raised these kids to be smart and capable.
And even though they don't get along most of the time, they have a strong bond with one another, they have been through a lot together, losing their Brother and Mother far to soon.
If we lost Tim, I believe that we would all do everything we could to keep the family and farm running as well as we possibly could.
These kids have been living this way their whole lives, and they know how to do everything they need to do to keep things going.
Don't tell Tim this, but I do my best work when I am under pressure :)
Sometimes Tim complains that if he wasn't here, the place would fall apart.
And he may be right.. the place might fall apart... for a short period of time.
When Tim is here, it is almost always... work, work, work. And the minute he leaves everyone kind of relaxes. It drives Tim nuts, but sometimes he drives us nuts too :)
I do, however, think that when the pressure is on, things will get done.
It may be kinda sad that the pressure has to be on before things get done, but not all of us are the get up and go personality types like Tim (and Caleb). But we are all capable, even me :)
The farm is set up to remain in the family indefinitely.
The kids know how to scrap to make money.
They know how to run machines, they know how to farm, they know how to take care of animals, they know how to start fires and cook, they know how to compost,
I am still in the learning phases, soon I will be able to know how to do everything as well. I am already turning into a wonderful cook, if I do say so myself :)
So, if something should ever happen to Tim, the kids and I would remain here together, living as we live now. It will be a struggle that we will have to go through together.
I will leave you with this image I snapped of Caleb's dog Hunter..
until next time...